last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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