People with herpes should wear stickers.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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