I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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