Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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