with your own penis?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Mom said you looked used
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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