I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you traded sex for a burrito?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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