That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize