At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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