We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize