I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
