I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
