I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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