I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
