you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize