It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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