some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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