my vag is so smooth its legendary
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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