when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
