I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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