he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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