Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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