I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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