hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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