Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
