True but thats because hes a fetus.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
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I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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