On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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