do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
