The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
