he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.