I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well