it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
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She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?