Whod you bang
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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