O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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