so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
