Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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