My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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