If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
