Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
