it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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