why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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