took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
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It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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