I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
