Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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