its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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