Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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