All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize