The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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