Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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