drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
me + whiskey = a bad person
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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