i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize