She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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