no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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