i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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