I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
