I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
