The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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